I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Do vagina's smell?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
