You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
