Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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