Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
the day after is always just damage control
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
