Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
