Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
