she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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