Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm going to jail i love you
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
