dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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