And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
