i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
