I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
