I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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