At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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