Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
My life is pants optional.
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