Pappa wants mamma naked
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize
