We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
