we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize