Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
