I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
