Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
