Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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