It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
