We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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