Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
