Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
