New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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