Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
