he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize