you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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