you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
