I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
