her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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