hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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