Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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