remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
