can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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