Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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