i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
