It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sobbing to NWA
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
