I puked a lego.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
