he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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