I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
