her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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