it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i think i have two assholes
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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