but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
