no, he came in my armpit
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
