I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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