I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
