So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
