He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
