their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
